Donation
by TheFirstMrsHummel
Summary: I wrote this back in 2001. Re-posting here after the longest fanfic retirement ever.


Visualization has always been one of my favorite mental exercises. Trying to predict future situations, and plan my responses accordingly. That way, I always told myself, I'd never get caught with my pants down. Over the last seven years, I've used the technique several times in regards to Scully, and have come to a couple of conclusions.

One, when you're in love with a woman like I am with Scully, it's not hard to picture what you'd do for her. Mostly because the alternative - picturing what you wouldn't do - is pretty much impossible.

Two, I wouldn't really mind if Scully caught me with my pants down. As a matter of fact, I'd love it.

I've pictured a lot of places that my relationship with Scully could have led to. Some were warm, cozy locations - like her apartment, where we would make love on a blanket in front of her fireplace. Others were not so cheerful - like a cold, damp grave. Sometimes hers, more often mine.

But I never once visualized myself winding up in this white, sterile room. It looked just like a doctor's office, which it basically was, with a few notable exceptions. Such as the fact that most exam rooms do not include stacks of Playboys and Penthouses, alongside a small TV and a modest but varied selection of pornographic videos. But, hey, the specimen cup directly to my left side looked right at home.

It all started with my guilty confession to Scully that I had kept something from her. I know, I know, big surprise. But this secret involved her - her fertility, or lack thereof. I could only hope this wouldn't be the last straw for her; the one lie of omission that would finally send her running as far away as she could get from the X-Files and Fox Mulder.

As it turned out, that was hardly the case. A week later, Scully came into the office and sat down on the corner of my desk. She was wearing a skirt that day, which stood out to me since she so rarely wore them. Her pantyhose-clad leg swung back and forth nervously.

"Something on your mind, Scully?" I asked, with a slightly raised eyebrow.

She couldn't seem to maintain eye contact with me, her gaze darting from me to the floor and then back again. "Um, as a matter of fact, yes."

"Shoot."

Suddenly, she pinned me with those blue eyes. "Mulder, I got that second opinion I mentioned. Dr. Paleri disagrees with your specialist. He feels the ova you found can be used to attempt conception via IVF."

I hinged my jaw, which had fallen open sometime in the last five seconds. "Scully, that's...that's wonderful." I felt a tiny bit of guilt recede at the revalation that I had not completely destroyed Scully's life. I smiled warmly at her, but instead of looking relieved or happy, she instead appeared to be uncomfortable, and still nervous. "Is there something else?"

"Well, yes." Her eyes slid back to the floor, and this time, they stayed there. "My part is...a fait accompli, so to speak. But that's only one side of the equation."

Hmmm. I was starting to get the gist.

"I need a donor, a sperm donor so the ova can be fertilized." Her face was about as red as I'd ever seen it. She closed her eyes, took a couple deep breaths, and the flush gradually faded. Then, just like before, she suddenly met my gaze dead on.

"I want it to be you."

The words hung in the air between us, as if she could snatch them back if she only wanted to. But she didn't, I could tell. Scully's gaze was completely unwavering now.

"I know this is weird, Mulder." A small laugh escaped. "God, is it ever weird. But I can't think of anyone else I would even consider. I don't want an anonymous donor from a sperm bank - either there's too much risk, or I'm just too paranoid. And I've thought about how my being pregnant might cause a rift between us, make it hard for us to work together. But if you were the...," she faltered momentarily, "father, then we would be going through it together. You'd have an investment too, and it would keep us cohesive, instead of driving us apart."

The fact that she had chosen me to father her child in part to preserve our working relationship just blew me away. I wanted to kick myself in the ass for every time I'd even unconsciously thought that the X-Files were more important to me than they were to her.

I opened my mouth, completely unaware of what was going to come out. "Can...can I think about it?"

To my surprise, Scully didn't look disappointed at all. I had a feeling she'd done some visualization of her own earlier. "Yes, of course, Mulder. It's a very big decision. I wouldn't want you to answer me on the spot." She grinned - not smiled - but grinned, hugely. "I'm so grateful you're even considering it."

Was she really? Was I such a selfish asshole that she thought I might blow her off immediately? I couldn't bear the thought that this wonderful, perfect woman, to whom I had given cause for so much pain, was so overwhelmed with gratitude. Scully was offering me the gift - a chance to have a child with her - yet she was the one thanking me. It boggled my mind.

"Scully, I do need to think about it. But you need to know, this isn't a just a favor you're asking me for." I grasped her shoulders gently, staring intently into her eyes. "This is a chance for a miracle, and I'm the one who's grateful,that you would want me to share this with you." I began to feel the sting of tears. "This is enormous, Scully, a tremendous honor that you want to give me. I'm not hesitating because I think it'd be an inconvenience. It's because I need to think about whether or not I'm truly deserving of that honor."

Scully's eyes were bright with tears now as well, and she parted her lips to speak. I laid two of my fingers on her lips before she could. "Not now. Later." As I withdrew my fingers, I let my thumb drag across her lips gently, as she had once done to me in my doorway. Then I left.

Of course, I agreed. What else can you do when given the chance to make the person you love happy, while making your own most beautiful dream come true? I think my favorite part was when I told her yes. God, her face in that moment was something I will never forget as long as I live. Relief, joy and gratitude were displayed so nakedly, nearly erasing my memory of her usual stoic demenor.

So here I sit, surrounded by porn, preparing to masturbate. Under normal circumstances, this would be...well...normal. I even made a small joke to that effect with Scully. But these are far from normal circumstances, and I'm not sure, but I think this may be the least horny I have ever been in my life.

I unbutton the fly of my jeans, then push them along with my boxer-briefs down to my knees. Time to take things in hand, so to speak. I grasp my flaccid penis gently, and begin to stroke gently up and down. This is very bizarre. I mean, I jerk off when the tension of working side-by-side with Scully everyday gets to be too much. When I start getting a hard on every time she taps a pencil against those pink lips, when she raises a single eyebrow at one of my more insane theories, or if she touches any part of me, like my shoulder, even through my clothes. Then I'll go back to my apartment, or motel room if we're on the road, and start yanking the old wank as hard and fast as I can. Sometimes I'll think about what she did that day to put me in such a state, but other times, I'll picture things that have never, and most probably will never, happen. Like Scully on her knees in the office, licking and sucking my hard cock while her own hand flicks her clitoris busily under her skirt.

In the midst of these musings, I suddenly notice that my formerly soft member is beginning to lengthen and thicken. Not a surprise, really. I haven't thought of anyone or anything else while masturbating in years.

What if things hadn't gotten so screwed up, and instead of me having to impregnate Scully this way, we could just accomplish it like most people? I begin to visualize the scenario in my mind, continuing to stroke what is now a full-fledged erection. In my mind, we're in bed - hers, I think. We are both naked, but we haven't made love yet, just lots of foreplay. As a result, I can feel her stiff nipples pressing into my chest, and the wetness of her pussy where she's straddled my leg, grinding on it in anticipation. My cock is trapped between us, against her belly, and I'm doing a bit of my own grinding. I can even feel slipperiness on her stomach, lubrication from the precum that is leaking from me.

I urge Scully gently on her back, spreading her thighs with my hands. I watch her face as one hand drifts to her center, fingers brushing gently against her soaked clit. She throws her head back, eyes squeezed tightly shut, and moans.

In the real world, my rough jerkings are producing the same exquisite sensations and precum as in my fantasy. I grab the specimen cup with my last shred of common sense.

Sweating lightly, I imagine what happens next. I raise up over her, placing one knee on either side of her hips. I take my cock and guide it to Scully's pussy, rubbing the head up and down the length of the hot lips. Damn, I am good at this visualization thing. I can almost smell her musky arousal, hear her moans escalate into sharp cries when I drag the tip over her tender bud.

I stop teasing and place my cock directly at the opening of her vagina. I start to ease in a bit, not quite popping the whole head in but just pushing ever so gently at her burning hot core. Scully opens her eyes, a few strands of silky hair over her face and clinging to her moist lips. Her eyes are cloudy with passion, but I can see intent there as well.

"What is it?" I gasp.

"Mulder...make me pregnant."

"What!"

Scully begins to undulate her pelvis, easing me in a little more. "Oh, God, Mulder. Fill me up with your come." Our gaze has not broken since she began speaking, and it doesn't falter now, either. Her breasts and face are flushed, dewy perspiration along her hairline. She grabs the hand that still holds my cock and places it on her belly between us. "I want your baby, Mulder. I want your come inside me, in my womb, all over inside of me. Please, Mulder!"

I can no longer resist her siren call. I thrust my entire length into her, finally closing my eyes at both the hot tight feel of her and the sound of her sobbing scream. I want nothing more than to give her what she wants, what she needs. What I need, too, a life created by both of us. Physically, yes, my sperm, her womb - but also emotionally, my belief in miracles and her constant support and love. Combining together, making something so much more than half of each of us.

I thrust quickly, knowing I won't be able to last long now. I grab Scully's calves and draw her legs up and over my hips. The change in angle is all she needs to fall over the edge. "Oh, Jesus! Oh, God, Mulder!" she cries out as she comes, her internal muscles grabbing and massaging me.

"Love you...Christ...love you so much," I groan. I can't tell the difference between the squeezing of her core in my mind and that of my hand in this room. It's like I'm on two parallel planes, and I can feel myself about to blow my load on both of them. Here in reality, I mindlessly bring the cup to my groin, grunting harshly as semen shoots out of me, almost burning. In that other plane, I surge into Scully, who is still crying out her pleasure wordlessly. I flood her with what feels like an ocean of fluid, yelling "Scully!" as I empty completely. Then on those two existences, and any other I'm sure, my mind is just a flash of white light.

I come to my senses a few moments later, unfortunately only on the plane I started out on. I can feel sweat beginning to dry on my brow, and I am tightly holding the specimen cup. I look down and see that it is about a quarter full of milky white semen. I also have a few splatters on my hand, but it looks like I managed to slam dunk most of it.

I put the cup back down on the side table, shakily to say the least, and grab some tissues to clean myself off with. Then I pull up my underwear and jeans, cap the cup and stick the pre-printed label the nurse provided me with on it. As I leave the room, I hope with everything inside of me that in this world, and any other, Fox Mulder and Dana Scully can make a baby together.


End file.
